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Did you get the copy of the report I created for the ACLU branch of Palm Springs? Here is a brief on Randy, he sent so that he can drum up some more business for his self. This is the first time that I have seen this also, and I was looking at the names that he uses. Maxwell Associates and Maxwell Entertainment, just looking at the name in common. I use Maxwell as one of my pen names (name that I write under), and it is kind of funny in a weird way. "My Future in the Media World"Dances In The Dark, Hell Fires,Jewish Wales, Butts And Donkeys, Flying Cows, Pigs And Hogs, Want to hear about the luck of the Irish and more?
I told you that I met him at the police station the day before I got assaulted, he had his house broken into three times by the merry maids, and he came out to sit with me as I smoked a cigarette. He kind of reminds me of Woody Allen, and I do not know if you are aware of it, but I hate everything about Woody Allen. He looks so funny and out base to me, and Randy has the same look about him. He came to visit me after the cops dropped me off, and he took me to the hot springs to soak in the hot springs, and I was able to forget some of the bad things that had happen to me.
I do not know what you have heard, and most of the stories you have are different from what really happen. I have no idea who you are referring to most of the time, and I am sure that is okay with you , and it says so much also. It is just a noted difference that is all. Not good or bad, just that it is what it is, acknowledgement not judgmental I hope. I have positive intentions that I hope you can see, dam the letters went way to small, (fort changed, it is hard for me to remember how to get it to return to what it was), sorry about that.
Anyway the only reason why I let the stuff go, is because I wanted to keep the playpen, and I did not want it to get lost in storage. I was not aware of what else had been removed at that time. I hate it that we had to go thought so much hell to learn how to appraisested each other. I never told you that ever, because it was kind of scaring for me to see how much you cared, had not expected it. To tell you that it is something that was not possible outside of the movies, and it was unreal, and still do not know how to take the devotion that you gave me. I know that I am not perfect, and I will be the first one to let you know that I do not know everything. I feel like there is so much for me to do to help others, and I have a hard time remembering myself, and I just wanted to let you know that I can see if we can do the adjustments, to continue to grow and change, some of the things that are not working for us.
This was just a little piece that I wanted to share with you about Randy, and I got carried away again, and you will just have to bare with me the directions that my mind is turning now. Hope this is something that interest you and I am not wasting your time. There is so much that we can do together, and I am glad we were able to take this time to explore some of the things that have happen to us, and want to look at how to correct them.
One of the things that I liked about you were your teddy bear features, and your dreamy bedroom eyes, I think it is a weakness of mine, and I can not believe you are real. Some of the ways you look when you have your moments of pain, and moments of joy, and your moments of concern is way to new for me, and I have a hard time believing the reality of the depths that you care. I wish you had been able to come and spend the night with me, but maybe this way is okay as well. There is still so much more that needs to be address about the fears and the concerns about what was not right between us, and your point of view on what the causes were, as well as mine.
Sorry I have to tell you that one of the things that I never told you about is how I had the way you do you quest for truth. I hate being pushed in a corner, and you do it every time when you ask questions. You are no asking for a reason, you just want to confirm your point of view, and I can not stand that. One of the things that I learned when I was a child, from the things that my fathers said, and it has stuck with me all my life. What he told me was that if question pertains to something that you want, and I do not have it in hand, the real truth is that I do not have it. It does not mean that I do not know where it is, just that I do not have it at that moment, because that was the question that you asked. It is what I call shooting curves, and believe me it is something that I use always when pushed in a corner about things that I do not want to talk about. Or perhaps things that I am not ready to talk about.
Just wanted to let you know that most of the time I write about myself in the third person, as if I am telling someone else story, it helps me from taking the events personally over and over again, and feeling the pain constancely. I hope that makes sence to you, it is helps me relate the stories so that they sound funny. God knows I do not want to cry about it.
I would rather laugh about it. It has been a long time sence anyone cared enough about what I was doing to talk about what looks wrong, and leaves a lot of questions. So I guess it is going to be a long process to get to the bottom of the reasons why, I am that way. Some of the things you say I know what you are referring to and the rest is still based on angry that still has not been expressed. "My Future in the Media World"Dances In The Dark, Hell Fires,Jewish Wales, Butts And Donkeys, Flying Cows, Pigs And Hogs, Want to hear about the luck of the Irish and more?
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